"Cleveland Steamer's Caboose"
by Robert Felker with Vincent Truman
as performed in the Suspicious Clowns' ninth show (2007)
© 2007 Robert Felker/Vincent Truman/Suspicious Clowns


Cleveland Steamer (Eric Carter)
Dirty Sanchez (Jefrey Wilkerson)
The Pink Taco (Melina Paez)
Snowball (Vincent Truman)

Jaunty music is played.

Cleveland Steamer enters and does a very silly dance.

Cleveland:  Hey, kids!  It’s me!  Your favorite conductor, Cleveland Steamer and welcome to ‘Cleveland Steamer’s Caboose’!  You’ll have to pardon my appearance, but I’ve been over at my friend Chief Wahoo’s who has been having problems with his stove.  I’ve been stove piping all day long, but it was worth it to get that hot plate at the end of the day.  

A dirty Mexican enters, dragging a woman wearing all pink (The Pink Taco).



Cleveland: Well, what is it Dirty Sanchez?

Dirty Sanchez:  It’s the Pink Taco!  There’s something wrong with her!

Cleveland:  Well, teabag me!  What happened to you Pink Taco?

Pink Taco:  Dddddiingle-Ddddiingle Berry…

Dirty Sanchez: Dingleberry the donkey?

Cleveland:  What did he do?

Pink Taco:  Hit me in the head…

Dirty Sanchez:  He donkey punched her, mang!

Cleveland: Well, toss my salad! 


(enters, depressed) Hey, guys.

Cleveland: Snowball!  What’s the matter?  How was the audition for the band?

Snowball: I choked on the skin flute!

Dirty Sanchez: You want to borrow my trombone? 

Snowball: You mean, your rusty trombone?

Dirty Sanchez: Oh, eez not so bad, man.  I cleaned it off with some duck butter.

Pink Taco: With your hands?

Dirty Sanchez: No, man.  With my pink sock.


Cleveland: Hey, guys, I think I know what would make Pink Taco and Snowball feel better! 

Dirty Sanchez: Me, too.  Maybe I should jerk-off and cum all over her face and tits!

Cleveland, Snowball and Pink Taco: What?

Dirty Sanchez: Oh, I mean I could choke the chicken and give them a pearl necklace, man!

Cleveland, Snowball and Pink Taco: Oh, Sanchez!

Cleveland: Come on, everyone, to the Poop Chute!

All: Whee!

Everyone runs off. 


About this sketch

This is a very short sketch, quite deliberately by design.  Because there's really only one joke - sex slang - it was important to get in and get out as quickly as possible.  At one point, the draft of the sketch included a later introduction of Snowball and more plans by Cleveland (going to the Dutch Oven to see the Arabian Goggles play, or something) but it was decided to leave the plans to 'to the Poop Chute!' and end it there.

There was a bit of difficulty sorting out the order of the jokes.  At one point, Dirty Sanchez' pearl necklace riff was in the middle of the sketch, but Robert and I both agreed that the sitcom-esque "Ohh Sanchez!" should be at the tail of the sketch.

Because of its brevity, this sketch received a great reception during and after the shows.  

- Vincent Truman



© 2007 Robert Felker//Vincent Truman/Suspicious Clowns