by Robert Felker
as performed in the Suspicious Clowns' second show (Sept - Oct 2002)
and Suspicious Clowns 8 (Nov - Dec 2005)
© Robert Felker/Suspicious Clowns
Alex, a son, gay but not
effeminate (Scott Munn in SC2; Kyle Ramos in SC8)
Dad, a dad, easily upset. Cries a lot (Robert Felker in both productions)
Alex: I just wana say that its really brave of you to come to prom with me.
Dad: Son, I just want you to know that your mother and I love you and support you all the way.
Alex: Thanks dad. Now, I know you never got to go to your prom, so I got you a boutonniere. I figured Id wear the corsage.
Alex: The corsage. The flower that goes on my wrist. You know.
Dad: Oh my God.
Alex: Dad, did you forget the corsage?
Dad: (starting to lose it) Oh my God!
Dad: Oh my God Im sorry!
Alex: Can we still get one?
Dad: Yeah, yeah, Ill
just go to the
Oh no! Its past five the florists are
(breaks into inconsolable sobs)
Dad: Ohmygod Im so sorry! I have no idea what Im doing! I never went to my prom.
Alex: Its OK, dad. Ill think of something.
Dad: Its not OK. You only have one prom, and Ive ruined it!
Alex: You havent ruined prom. Here, look Ill just twist one of these fake flowers around my wrist.
Dad: Its not the same!
Alex: No look, it works. And you bought the fake flowers, so its kinda like you bought me a corsage.
Dad: (sniffling) Really?
Alex: Look at you, you better go clean yourself up before the limo gets here.
Dad: I was supposed to hire a limo? (another sobbing fit) Oh Gaaaaaawwwwd!
Alex: Dad you didnt hire a limo?
Dad: Im a failure!
Alex: No, Dad.
Dad: I am! Im ruining your prom. I dont know what Im doing. I never dated or anything! I won your mother in a contest!
Alex: Dad, its all right, Ill just (suddenly realizing what his father has said) you won mom in a contest?
Dad: Yeah. Its a long story I dont want to go into it right now.
Alex: OK, well Im sure Becky and Johnny have room in their limo for us.
Dad: (sniffling) Yeah?
Alex: Ill just call them up. Im sure it will be fine.
Dad: Youre sure?
Alex: Yes. Now go upstairs clean up and grab the tickets.
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