Poetry & Blindfolds

You don’t want to miss these!

How I did it:

1. Went to Facebook.
2. Copied friends’ pictures.
3. Copies their status update.
4. Repeat.

It was 7:30 on opening night.  Throughout the day, I had experienced minor flashes of nervousness, the kind of which I hadn’t experienced since the last time I attempted to be a real actor – in 1988.  Now, those nerves were beginning to re-surface, as, from the dressing room, I heard the slow, growing rumble of the arriving audience, sounding like a far-away yet fast-approaching storm.  At this moment, John Mark cranked up his iPod. 

I never recognized the blaring music John Mark, with whom I shared the stage for two hours a night, played pre-show and during intermission, but if I could describe it, I would say it would be somewhere between the soundtrack to ‘Glee’, elevator music, more ‘Glee’, a Queen tribute band, and an unnamed group from Deliverance, Alabama, the members of which are very gay but they formed a band so the tougher guys in town wouldn’t beat them up. The music was up-tempo and the lyrics were all very positive, ala “We’re gonna show ‘em / we’re gonna blow ‘em away / do it / do it / yeh come on now / let’s tip the cow / do it  / do it.”  John Mark would then jump around and make big, actor-like “whoooooooooooosh” sounds.  These pre-show moments were perfect snapshots of my experience in “The Woman in Black.”

The company that produced the play is just starting out, not only as a theater group but also in Chicago (the members are transplants from below the Mason-Dixon line).  I did forget this upon occasion and was less than magnanimous about it, stomping out of the theater at one point over “artistic differences.”  However, once I remembered what it was like to be ‘starting out’, I was able to enjoy myself and the company a great deal more.  Indeed, as my irritating conscience reminded me, when I was their age, I was doing average improvisational comedy and screwing my cast mates and cute audience members nightly, so these folks are definitely ahead of me on the timeline.  By the time I got to the ‘Glee’/Queen/elevator music moments, I was perfectly at peace to let them be them.

I strongly suspect that their experience with me can be described in similar terms.  The circumstances of me getting the role involved another bozo getting the role and then quitting on them one week into rehearsal.  And, although they could move forward with the show after casting me, they were stuck with a sketch comedian / producer / writer / director attempting to play it straight.  That could not have been easy for them!  Most certainly, they have discovered one of the key rules about theater: in every production, there is a Problem Child, and I was probably that Problem Child for them.  However, after a few bumps, I think they came to accept me like I accepted them, and what we did together was quite good – even above and beyond the reaffirmation we received from the critics – and we can all be pleased and proud with the result.

Now that the show is over, and I’ve been instrumental in giving the group some money (through my friends’ wallets) and happy press, I pause to wonder if I should pursue this acting thing.  And a moment after I wonder that, I think: no fucking way.  A Jennifer I knew before I married one (Jennifers are very smart; go ahead, ask one) once said that, if something can persuade you to avoid acting, let it.  Because I am a 40something and haven’t been a proper actor in 20something years, starting now sounds like a mad idea.  And I have no inclination to pay additional dues with companies with members who remember going home from middle school one autumn day because two planes hit two towers in New York.

Despite this, I have built for myself a caveat.  I’d audition again if I was asked to, and if I were to land a role, I’d not accept immediately.  Rather, I’d say, “sounds good; let’s meet and talk about it.”  That should sufficiently limit the parts that come my way, while leaving the door open for other unique opportunities.

Since the show, my mind has been racing with what to do in 2010.  I’d certainly like to get back into some theatre shows, either writing or directing or producing.  I’m thinking a lot about some good friends – Melissa, Angela, Kyle – with whom I’d love to collaborate.  And then there’s ‘Today Is Stupid’, my project with Ricky March, that had to be put on hold – sorry, Ricky! – because of ‘The Woman in Black.’ 

I guess there’s only one way to find out.  Stay alive.