Poetry & Blindfolds

Here’s some fun stuff about being 43. 

1. Whereas the ratio in the 1990s used to be 1:1, these days the ratio for good pictures to bad is now 1:200.  And that’s with filters.

2. Being politely flirtatious is met with looks of horror or, worse, ambivalence.

3. You lose count of the ‘new pains’ that have surfaced in your body.

4. If you were compared to George Clooney five years ago, you are now compared to Billy Bob Thornton.

5. Good times take extraordinary effort when it comes to other people; on the other hand, good times take zero effort when alone.

6. You have no idea what or who is in the Top 100 of any chart, which is a step up from being pleased that you at least heard the name of an artist in the Top 50.

7. ‘Making it’ is based on your own standards, no longer on the standards of others’.

8. You can no longer refer to yourself as the answer to life, the universe and everything.

9. Girls of 30 look young.  Girls of 20 look so young, you expect to find bits of placenta in their hair.

10. A lot of the homeless folks you see are younger than you and you wonder what the hell happened there.

11. You will have millisecond-length previews of your elder years (example: I approached an escalator the other day and had to concentrate for a millisecond to determine if it was going up or down) and you will not like them.

12. You can sit on a crowded bus or train without a smidge of guilt that you left a woman standing.

13. You can ‘ebay’ your way to the front row of any concert, anytime.  You just don’t want to cuz it’s loud and you’re tired and people are jerks and the drinks are overpriced.

14. You hear a friend talk about utilizing his friends to help him move and you wonder why anyone would do that.

15. You have consider little tolerance for younger people making the same mistakes you made when you were their age.

16. Your memory is showing little signs of failing.  And, it’s not so bad.

17. You don’t mind stairs, but you don’t like them nearly as much.

18. Snow is no longer a source of fun.

19. You are smart enough to know that, if you knew then what you know now, you’d be completely ostracized from your peer group.

20. Perfectly solid stool = success!