Poetry & Blindfolds

Need something interesting to read?  Something full of adventure?  Honesty?  Truth?  Almonds?

Check out some good Pro-Ana (pro-anorexic) blogs! 

At least their problems are real (or they believe them to be real) and, when they stop writing – either because they’re forced into rehab or they die – you move on to the next one.  Kind of like a pet fish, only without the fish food.  Because that has calories.

I am putting in this blog some (heavily edited) bits from a diary of a girl who is – remember this –112 pounds.   I find myself caught directly between finding it hysterical and heart-breaking, and yet, the thing I feel the strongest is empathy.  Even if the source of self-doubt is not weight, I – and maybe you – can relate to how this girl feels.

* * * * *

January 5, 2007.  I feel like a billion fucken Ibs.  FASTING TILL MONDAY.  Fuck This.

January 5, 2007.  I hear alot of people always saying I’m there inspiration or what not.. everyone of you .. is my inspiration… Nicole richie is an icon!

January 16, 2007.  I’m proud of myself.. for once in my life I am eating guilt free.. for once in my life I don’t hate myself for being normal  for once in my life I am enjoying ME  and for once in my life.. I feel like I am  WORTH It….

 

 

January 20, 2007.  I FEEL WORTHLESS.

February 11, 2007.  So I am feeling good about myself I still don’t want to gain tons of weight because that won’t be good anyways so I decided to take upon weight watchers..

March 22, 2007.  One Grape ?cals / rice cake 60 cals / 3 Tablespoons of yogurt ( strawberry kind) 80 cals / barbeque with salad (NOT SURE)… at least 300-400….  CALORIES 560′ish..?
I don’t know.. oh well!  I’m done for today! I am so happy that Im done before 7pm my foods..

April 30, 2007.  Well I finally have had it.. I feel like shit I hate the way I look

May 1, 2007.  ahh I feel so much better today!  I had a few grapes 3 strawberrys and corn on the knob!

May 12, 2007.  15 almonds 2 lettuce salads.. with some feta cheese  and thats it.  in 42 days, i want to be down 25 lb.  No problem!

May 18, 2007.  mom noticed how hurt I was and reminded me of how much she loved me.. It really made me smile.. I seen a little boy on crunches the ones you wear when your legs are completely hopeless.. like you’ll never be able to enjoy walking unless they are there to support you.. I felt better after I seen that not because someone else was in pain ( NO WAY).. it reminded me of how much other people suffer around us for much more horrible things in life.. and I could only be greatful for what I have in mine… Thank you for every blessing*
I had 2 strawberrys and 3 pieces of dried fruit.. ( small)

May 23, 2007.  FINALLY SOMEONE NOTICED MY WEIGHT…
MMM I almost fell down a few times today!