Poetry & Blindfolds

…BUT I received a number of very nice emails about this particular survey I did yesterday, so I thought I’d throw it here for a bit.  Feel free to take it yourself.

The Strange Questions Survey

Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?:
There’s very few things I haven’t licked the back of to make them work.

What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated:
Define ‘dated’.

Ever been in a car wreck?:
No, but I’ve seen a door step.

Were you popular in high school?:
Sure. I was the Guy Most Likely To Have Other Guys Ask If I Had Any Money.

Have you ever been on a blind date?:
I don’t even need glasses now. Which brings to mind this thought. If blind people are very close to each other and one of them has goose pimples, does the other try to read them?

Are looks important?:
As important as glances.

Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 10 years or more?:
Not consecutively.

By what age would you like to be married?:
Between 25-30. Oops. Too late.

Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?:
Not if I don’t know the number.

Have you ever made a mistake?:
Yes, and from scratch, too!

Are you a good tipper?:
Yes, I can fall with the best of them.

What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?:
About 40 minutes.

Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?:
Not after I slept with her.

Have you ever peed in public?:
I only pee in public.

What song do you want played at your funeral?:
The Star Spangled Banner.

Would you tell your parents if you were gay?:
I’m not sure they could disappove of me more as is.

What would your last meal be before getting executed?:
Mexican. So it would explode out of my ass when they hit the switch.

Beatles or Stones?:
Wings.

If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who?:
Anyone performing in a theater next to a show that I’m acting in.

Beer, wine or hard liquor?:
Beer, because hard liquor goggles are too intense.

Do you have any phobias?:
I have phobiaphobia. A fear of fear itself.

What are your plans for the future?:
Death.

Do you walk around the house naked?:
Only during a party.

If you were an animal what would you be?:
Woman.

Hair color you like on someone you’re dating?:
Transparent.

Would you rather be blind or deaf?:
Deaf. So I could go on deaf dates.

Do you have any special talents?:
I can feign interest in sports if it’s on TV.

What do you do as soon as you walk in the house?:
Put my clothes on.

Do you like horror or comedy?:
Horrors pretending to be comedies.

Are you missing anyone?:
I don’t have a gun.

If you weren’t straight, what person of the same sex would you do?:
Me.

Where do you want to live when you are old?:
Indoors.

Who is the person you can count on the most?:
The operator.

If you could date any celebrity past or present, who would it be?:
Karen Hines. No, you don’t know her.

What did you dream last night?:
I dreamt I was asleep.

What is your favorite sport to watch?:
President Bush’s press conferences.

Are you named after anyone?:
No. I am the only Vincent Truman ever.

What is your favorite alcoholic drink?:
My girlfriend’s lips. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Non alcoholic drink?:
My girlfriend’s, er… you know.  Gator Ade.

Have you ever been in love?:
Can’t help it.

Do you sing in the shower?:
Only if the other members of the quartet show up.

Have you ever been arrested?:
Yes, if I have a-slept for a-eight hours.

What is your favorite Holiday?:
Colonel Pulaski Day.

Would you ever get plastic surgery?:
No, because I would never break my plastic.

Have you ever caught a fish?:
So to speak.